The life-changing joys of never admiring quietly
Why paying a compliment can have dividends for both parties.
I recently watched a short video of one of my favourite authors, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, giving a speech at Yale University.
She was talking about the importance of never admiring quietly.
She spoke about letting people know that we love and appreciate them. Her words took me back to my studies at business school.
On the last day of that academic year, while everyone was in a celebratory mood and bidding farewell, a classmate approached me.
She encouraged me to never be afraid to lead, and never to doubt myself.
She reminded me of the power of my mind, telling me I must always be my authentic self. She said how much she appreciated me for who I am.
Her name was Seldy. What she didn’t know was that I would wake up the next morning, doubting my 11-month academic journey, as I faced the challenge and pressure of finding a job as a post-graduate.
It was a familiar mental and emotional state. But this time, her words came back to me, carrying me out of the wave of pessimistic thinking.
Seldy had decided not to admire quietly. This taught me an important lesson. Sometimes people see you in ways that you don’t see yourself. That can be both good and bad.
It makes my day when a stranger compliments how I am dressed, when a colleague emails me their appreciation after a work accomplishment, or when someone close to me tells me something about myself that I wasn’t aware of. A friend once told me, for example, that when I talk, people listen.
Such reflections, compliments, and positive affirmations from others have carried me through moments when I needed to hear them the most.
Words are powerful. In the same way that they may destroy, they can build and strengthen, enlighten and affirm. They can bring life and hope. A simple compliment carries immense power.
Learning to appreciate the smallest things about people can make a significant difference in their lives. Let people know you appreciate them and you love them.
Never admire quietly. Your words have the power to uplift and inspire. Speak up and share the good you see in others.