I wake up most mornings with a song in my head.

It’s taken me years to figure out that my subconscious talks through song lyrics and lets me know what is happening under the surface of my to-do list. If only it would be a bit more obvious.

But no, every morning is like a cryptic crossword puzzle.

It seems my dark shadow self isn’t all keen to be understood by the part of my brain that worries about speeding fines and what to wear to Thursday’s event.

Sometimes it’s a tune, sometimes it’s fragments of a lyric, and sometimes it’s a full dance routine. Literally.

I had a dream where I was on a dance floor with a man I know in real life, Will. We were dancing to Believer by Imagine Dragons.

“Pain! It made me a, it made me a Believer. Believer.”

My best friend WhatsApp group had a great time deciphering that one. Will. Believer. Pain. Childhood trauma, babe! Something for your therapist.

The following Monday, my therapist and I dissected it and felt that it was about my relationship with myself. My “Self-Will”, specifically. I could hear my subconscious smirking.

I can be a bit controlling, especially when things aren’t going well.

A harbinger of catastrophe for me is when I think, “I got this!”

That means I am running on self-will rather than listening and responding to the world. Pain ensues. Lessons are learnt. I level up.

Yesterday was Howard Jones’ What is Love Anyway, a song from 1983.

My brain dragged that out of the recesses of time to give me a message.

I can’t remember that I have left my glasses on my head (true story), but my subconscious has been squirrelling away 80s one-hit-wonder lyrics just in case it needs to tell me something.

This time the WhatsApp group had no idea. I got the flushed face emoji, which in our group means: Yikes! What is that now?

I have an idea, though. I am feeling more confused than ever about what love is and what love I want or need.

I love my friends deeply and they love me. Do I need more? What could more look like? What would it bring? More importantly, what would it need from me?

My life is pretty great right now. Not sure that the added complexity of a love affair would be good for it. But who knows?

This morning it was Higher Love by Whitney Houston. Initially, I had an eye-roll moment.

Clearly, while I am burning through my to-do list and worrying about whether I am saving enough tax, my psychological underworld is wondering whether I will ever date again.

I listened to the song and learnt two things. Firstly, I remembered how kiff Whitney was and still is. For those born after 1995, kiff is an era-appropriate word for a mid-80s song.

Secondly, I found these lyrics:

Things look so bad everywhere

In this whole world, what is fair?

We walk the line and try to see

Fallin’ behind in what could be, oh

Bring me a higher love (oh my Lord)

My subconscious wasn’t worried about dating. It was chewing over the state of the world, and it chose to give me solace by telling me that love is what we need.

But as Howard asks, what is love, anyway? Possibly, it’s that higher love that will help, the love beyond romantic, a bigger, more global love.

What the world needs now is love, sweet love. (Just give me a moment to Google whoever sang that).

But now I am also wondering when my subconscious might move into the 90s or 2000s.

I am looking forward to some Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Green Day or Pink.

Knowing me, it will be Roxette, Wilson Phillips, and if I am lucky, Technotronic.

My subconscious seems very uninterested in being cool.