Stay Motivated: Reward Yourself When You’ve Earned It

In your ongoing change journey, sometimes you’ll feel like you’re on track, and sometimes you’ll feel a little derailed. When things have gone well, rewarding yourself can motivate you to keep on trucking.

By now you probably know that most change journeys have ups and downs. While the challenging times can feel deflating, you can use the better times to your advantage. If you’ve worked hard, done well or reached a milestone, rewarding yourself is a great way to celebrate and, more importantly, stay motivated.

Here are some considerations and tips around rewarding yourself.

Rewards can be external and internal

External (or extrinsic) rewards motivate you from the outside.

If you’ve managed your time better, for example, an external reward could be that you give yourself a few hours to do something you enjoy, like going to a movie. If you’ve worked hard to be more present with your kids, for example by reading them bedtime stories every evening, and they give you goodnight kisses, that’s also an external reward.

Internal (or intrinsic) rewards motivate you from within.

The satisfaction of knowing you’ll have more time to do things you enjoy, for example. Or the joy of being in the moment with your children. In a way, intrinsic rewards are really just about feeling good. That can be very motivating.

Both external and internal rewards are valuable.

Sometimes, when you’re internally rewarded and motivated, there’s no need for external rewards: feeling good is enough. But other times, it isn’t. For example, if you’ve stepped up at work and are doing a great job, you also want to be well paid.

An addict who’s been clean for a few months will feel internally rewarded and motivated because they’ve stayed clean. But they’ll also feel motivated by affirmation and encouragement from others. Groups like Alcoholics Anonymous give members tags and medallions after certain periods of sobriety. It’s just a gesture, but it keeps members motivated to keep going.

Rewards should be reinforcing

In other words, they should promote your ongoing positive change. Here are some ways to make sure they do.

Reward yourself only when you’ve earned it.

Random rewards – given to yourself on a whim or whenever you feel like it, rather than when you’ve achieved something – are counter-productive, and may make you feel worse instead of better.

Match the size of the reward to the scale of the accomplishment.

A small achievement deserves a small reward. Achieving a big goal deserves something more significant. It can help to make a list of rewards so you have a sense of which are smaller and which are for bigger accomplishments.

Try to make the reward relevant to the change.

The best rewards help bring you closer to your goal. For example, if the change you’re making is to spend less time watching TV and more time learning an instrument – drums, for example – you could go watch a concert or performance, or buy yourself a new set of drum sticks.

Don’t choose a reward that’s self-sabotaging.

For example, if you’re trying to be better with money, don’t buy an expensive reward. Better yet, don’t buy anything at all – rewards can be activities, too.

Rewards can motivate at any stage of your change journey. Even if you feel far down the line and close to achieving your change goal. Even if it’s years from now and the positive change you’ve made is habitual… why not reward yourself then, too? You’ll have earned it.