The Instagram wealth guru, with her impossibly white teeth, swayed her hips in a sensuous motion.

“Feel the abundance washing over you,” she said. “Feel your cells sparkle with income-generating potential!”

Embarrassment prickled my skin as I watched on my computer screen, but I persevered through the free webinar on “Creating Abundant Financial Flow.”

I was desperate for a change, scraping the bottom of my bank accounts. My small software business and freelance writing side hustle were barely bringing in any income. Getting out of bed and out of this slump was a struggle.

The wealth guru instructed me to write down the reasons why I deserved to earn abundantly. Irritated by her smugness, I filled page after page, feeling energy buzzing through my fingers.

In the past, a high salary wasn’t important to me. What mattered was doing work I loved, excelling at it, and helping others. I valued the freedom that freelancing provided – choosing when to wake up, what to wear, and how long to enjoy a cup of tea.

I had come to believe that I couldn’t earn well, do work I loved, and maintain my freedom. I had an unconscious glass ceiling on my income. Googling the average South African salary revealed that I was paying myself only a third of that amount.

I yearned for the wider range of choices that money could offer. Not to buy designer labels — I still shopped at thrift stores for most of my clothes, and my husband and I shared a second-hand car. I wanted the freedom to travel more, worry less, and share a variety of experiences with my family.

With retirement looming, my husband and I realised that we could afford to retire at 88 — but only for about 10 minutes! So, at 53, I decided it was time to grow up and start earning better.

I began meticulously recording every bit of income, no matter how small, from the commission I received from the local thrift shop to larger sums from software license sales. Acknowledging and valuing every amount that came in shifted my perspective.

I wanted to approach this income-generating project from a place of abundance rather than lack. I started a daily gratitude list, focusing on the moments and things that filled my heart. This helped me shift away from self-pity.

I clarified my intentions. I didn’t want to buy into the capitalist myth of constant growth, with more employees and a bigger office space. It felt exhausting and disrespectful to the Earth’s resources and my own well-being.

I wanted meaningful, regular work from interesting and respectful clients. I also wanted to return to teaching, but in a well-paid and non-school environment.

I made it known that I was available for more freelance writing. I became proactive in my software business. I reached out to a training company that hired me as a facilitator, and I created and sold an online course I had been contemplating for a while.

I continued with my daily gratitude list and income tracker. And because getting smarter with money isn’t just about gratitude, I read books on finance, listened to podcasts, and joined a personal finance community on Facebook.

Two years later, I feel much more confident about my ability to generate income. I take pleasure in saving and learning about investments. I am excited about my journey of wealth, eager to learn and explore further.