I close my eyes and take a sip of my cappuccino. It’s perfect. Just the right strength, foaminess, and temperature. It warms me from within as I open my laptop.

It’s our weekly writers’ gathering at a plant-filled café in a neighbourhood nursery. With the rain pattering on the roof, our heads are bent over our journals and devices as we give shape to our thoughts. The chilly grey morning lends itself to introspection.

My screen is open on the Change Exchange website. My eyes fall on the question: “Want to make a change? Making a change in life is easier when you know what matters most to you. Click here to discover what matters most to you in your life.”

In my mid-50s, I’m enjoying a rich and fulfilling phase of life, with a good balance of meaningful work, time to myself, and quality time with family.

I don’t want to make a change.

Still, I’m tempted by the opportunity to discover what matters most to me in my life. The invitation comes from a tool called the 3-Word Sherpa.

I’m intrigued.

I think of the Sherpas who act as travelling companions, porters, and guides on the gruelling ascent of Everest.

Will this online Sherpa be able to lighten the load on my own journey, and help me plug in once more to my inner spark?

I accept the offer. It leads me to a series of questions, simple but surprisingly deep and thought-provoking. Questions like: If I had to teach something, what would it be? What do people ask me for help with? My answers reinforce the introspection I’ve undertaken lately. I press Finish and sit back.

The screen turns white. The words “Writing your story” appear, along with an animated scribble, assuring me that the Sherpa is at work.

As I wait, I look around the table at my writing tribe. I watch them write, and I think of those words: Writing your story.

It’s not something that can be outsourced. We are the only ones who can and should have authority and authorship over our stories. This is work that only we can do.

It’s what we are all always doing, whether we are aware of it or not. Writing our stories.

Choosing the words on the page, selecting the descriptions that take shape, omitting some things, amplifying others. As I write, I am continuously creating and shaping my story. Choice by choice, one micro-decision after another. Yes, not no. Us, not I. Now, not tomorrow.

In this room full of writers, pens scratching, keyboards tapping, I sit for a moment in the fullness of who I am. Right now. Here. Knowing full well what matters to me. Choosing every day to face the direction of what I value, what work I want to do, who I want to be with.

I know who I am.

The screen spits out a 10-word summary of my story, based on the answers I’ve given. It is unexpectedly insightful. Affirming.

It reminds me of my natural attributes of empathy, curiosity, and deep listening. Then the Sherpa invites me to rank my three most important and relevant words.

These are the words I choose:

Authenticity. Creating a life that is true to me, and helping others do the same.

Solitude. The importance of alone time and personal space, for recharging and feeling alive.

Family. Time spent with loved ones is central to my joy.

I look around at the bent heads of my writing community, women I’ve known for years, writers who share my dreams and fears. We’ve laughed and cried together over many coffees. We’ve grown as people and as writers.

The shining thread that weaves us together is the same strand that allows me to live authentically, to savour alone time, and to prioritise family. Writing.

Words have creative power: they can amplify or limit our sense of self. And while three words can’t come close to defining who I am, the Sherpa tool has helped to highlight what I value, so that I can keep on crafting a life that contains these words at its heart.

You can try the 3-Word Sherpa for yourself at https://www.changescienceinstitute.co.za/3-word-sherpa