The tough talk about money that helped me get my life in gear

And now, my driving dream is coming true.
Growing up, I never understood why my mother was always grumpy on paydays. It wasn’t until I became an adult that it made sense.
We were living from paycheque to paycheque, and knowing she had bills to pay and children to care for put a lot of strain on her as a single mom.
Fast forward 35 years. I am now a professional in the public sector, a mother of two beautiful children, and married to an entrepreneur.
Managing the financial dynamics between a steady paycheque and the unpredictable income from my spouse’s business can be daunting.
At times, my salary needs to cover all the bills and debts from previous months. I’ve been through the pain of leaving things at the till because the numbers don’t add up. I’ve had debt collectors call because I missed an instalment.
I remember the days when I dreaded receiving my pay or even opening my payslip. Discussions about finances at home often ended in disagreements.
Eventually, we decided to focus on living life to the fullest and being content with what we have. It didn’t happen overnight. It took two adults, focused on making our home life work with whatever income we had.
We had to sit down, write things out, and evaluate what we needed, versus what we could live without.
This shift has brought us peace and fulfilment, allowing us to find balance in our lives and create a happy and healthy home for our children.
Living beyond paycheque to paycheque as a family isn’t easy. My husband and I have had to seek additional work to supplement our monthly income. He has started a job as a designated driver, which pays weekly in arrears.
This has allowed us to make weekly grocery purchases and gives us extra funds while we wait for our regular income to cover the monthly bills.
For me, the extra income from freelancing helps to cover emergencies that are not included in our monthly budget, such as medical bills and driving lessons.
We are trying to manage our debt more effectively by addressing it one at a time instead of all at once. This allows us to budget properly.
It requires transparency and involves some uncomfortable conversations. It’s essential to contact those to whom we owe money and establish payment arrangements.
While we are planning to purchase our dream home in the near future, we are currently renting. We spent three years in our previous home, creating beautiful memories, and the moving process was painful. I remember breaking down and crying while we cleaned after moving all our things.
Now, two months later, I’ve started falling in love with our new home. We’ve saved around R3000 on rent, which can be redirected to other household expenses.
I talked to a friend about moving. Even if you live in a shack, she told me, as long as you have your family with you, that’s all you need.
I feel content and happy with our decision to move, as it has given us some financial relief. Watching my kids run around and play in our new yard makes me feel that all is well.
We’ve been researching schools for our 5-year-old son, who will be starting Grade R next year. The fees for preschools in our area are quite high.
We’ve decided to keep him home for the remainder of the year and have enrolled him in extracurricular activities to keep him engaged during the week.
He is enjoying soccer and coding, and we’ve invested in a tablet loaded with educational games. My work-from-home schedule allows me to teach him while we apply for an affordable primary school for 2026.
Our daughter will also be moving to a closer school next year for Grade 3. It’s the same school we’re applying to for our son’s Grade R. This school is significantly cheaper than her current one, so the transition is proving to be manageable.
This year, I’ve focused on moving beyond relying solely on my paycheque. In the past, I often prioritised other things, neglecting my family, my studies, and taking care of myself.
I recently obtained my driver’s license. This was an expense I couldn’t cover with my monthly salary.
But thanks to the strategies we’ve implemented, we found a little extra money for driving school. I’m excited about the journey ahead for my little family and me.