Helping you to better navigate life's changes. #LoveChange

Why I’ve embraced the surprising, invigorating power of insecurity

Why I’ve embraced the surprising, invigorating power of insecurity

It’s helped me understand who I really am.

Insecurity can be a potent motivator when viewed through the lens of self-awareness.

People can lose respect for you when you show insecurity. It’s seen as a weakness, a sign of a loser. I have been, I am, and I will likely continue to be insecure at times.

It took me a long time to understand that my insecurity was not a mark of disgrace. Instead, it was a warning system — an intelligent and finely tuned alarm prompting me to stop, listen, and ponder.

When you question the narrative you’ve created about yourself, you can uncover wisdom. Each question is a pause, an intake of breath, that can help you grow.

For instance, when I learn about someone in my industry performing significantly better than me, there’s an instant where I think, “Oh no, I’m terrible, worthless, a failure!”

I panic. I question every action I’ve taken and will ever take.

For a time, I would guard my contacts, lists, and networks. I became possessive over my clients, like Gollum with his precious ring.

I allowed my insecurity to dictate my worst behaviours, envying those who were more successful.

Eventually, I realised how draining and futile this was. They don’t care. They’re pursuing their goals, grappling with their insecurities.

I discovered a way of transforming these insecurities into a gift. I reframed my perspective.

Instead of asking, “Why not me?”, I began asking: What did that person study to advance further than me? How did they network? Can I email them to say congratulations and seek their advice? Might they mentor me? How can I improve?

There are individuals willing to share their contacts, divulge the steps they took, and make space for you.

I’ve learned from them. I’ve turned my insecurity into a tool to assist others who are fearful or insecure.

Insecurity can be a potent motivator when viewed through the lens of self-awareness. A lack of overconfidence can lead to harder work, more realistic expectations, and openness to criticism.

We seek feedback because it aids our development. But there’s a difference between accepting undue criticism due to lack of self-belief, and recognising and utilising valuable feedback.

I’m still searching for that balance. I’m aware of my limitations, acknowledge my shortcomings, and identify areas for growth. Isn’t that invigorating, rather than a cause for shame?

At its core, insecurity is a lack of confidence, a sense of uncertainty. I embrace it like a faux fur leopard print coat. I use it, instead of allowing it to use me.

Tamsin Mackay

Tamsin Mackay

Freelance content provider. Creative writer. Creator of Coffee Content. Weirdo. Dreamer. Passionate about words. Believer in possibility.

Related stories

The Change Programme

Are you thinking about making a change? Or trying to make a change? Or dealing with some change that’s happened? Whether you’re getting married or having a baby, moving house or jobs, starting a diet or stopping smoking… the Change Programme is for you.

Start the programme now!

black and white pattern