Even with the best intentions, change can be hard. Here are some coping strategies to help you succeed.

Sometimes change is forced on us, sometimes we choose it. Either way, dealing with and adapting to it can be tough.

Why? Because change implies something unknown and unfamiliar. And, as psychotherapist Richard B Joelson says, “we live in a culture that has taught us to be very uncomfortable with uncertainty”.

On top of that, most change – even the kind we’re excited about – also comes with some kind of loss. Getting married or having a baby may come with a (real or perceived) loss of independence. Leaving a job, home or city may mean a loss of stability or identity. That loss can be painful.

But: change can be positive. It’s a chance to assess things, to grow, to do and feel better.

So how do we cope with the vulnerability and anxiety, and come out of the transition renewed and optimistic? Joelson offers these coping skills and strategies.

1: Acknowledge what you’re losing.

As mentioned, most change entails some loss. And as Elisabeth Kübler-Ross articulated, dealing with grief is a process – hopefully ending with acceptance. Once you’ve accepted what you’ve lost, you’re more ready to embrace what you’ll gain.

2: Express your feelings.

You’ll almost certainly feel vulnerable, anxious, unsure or insecure. That’s okay, and a normal part of the process. Rather than sweeping those feelings under the carpet, acknowledge them. Write them down. Talk about them. This makes uncomfortable emotions real and helps you deal with them.

3: Lean on your support system.

Engage with people who want the best for you, make you feel safe, and won’t judge you. That may be friends, family, a therapist.

4: Focus on the benefits.

It can sound glib to say “look on the bright side”. But if you think about other changes you’ve made and what you’ve got out of them, and if you keep that in mind as you navigate new changes, you’re likely to approach the transition positively, as an opportunity to learn and grow.

5: Take one step at a time.

When things feel unmanageable, it’s useful to look for the things you can control. Break them down into single, specific steps and tackle them one by one. Those small wins will give you encouragement and confidence to keep going.

6: Take care of yourself.

Listen to what you need. Do what you feel well and capable enough to do. Have some fun. And remember the basics: eat well, exercise, get enough rest. These skills and strategies will help you move from uncertainty and anxiety toward acceptance, optimism and a positive embrace of change.